Just one of those days...

Most days I don't question why God created me with special needs. Usually, when other people ask me if I would rather be "normal", my answer would be no....but not today.

This morning has really made me question why God chose to create me this way, AND give me such a love for singing. I missed choir rehearsal this morning because there was a mix up with the person that was supposed to give me a ride. Now normally I don't need a ride (I just go on my own in my chair, or take the city bus), but now that we're using the stage in the main sanctuary rather than the meeting room downstairs, I need to use my manual wheelchair for the time being. Why? Well, it seems that, for some unknown reason, the removable ramp that once allowed me access to the platform/stage, has been destroyed. So, in the meantime, I need to use my manual chair so that I can be lifted on and off.

I have never felt right about having to do that. There's just something about enlisting the help of people I really don't know very well (although they are all very, VERY nice), that makes me feel, well.....like a third wheel. I tried to just shrug it off because it had to be done, but I realized today that this is causing too many people to go too far out of their way and I can't have that. I feel as though I've imposed myself on people an awful lot lately, and that needs to stop. If that means that I can't access the platform for the last few rehearsals (my power chair is FAR too heavy to be lifted up a handful of stairs), then so be it.

I've been told that something will be arranged in time for the actual performances, but honestly....I'm not feeling very hopeful right now.

I guess all I can do is pray, wait and see what happens.


-Ashleigh

P.S. I apologize if this post didn't make sense...I kind of rambled, and I really don't feel like editing myself right now.