The Invisible War....

I don't usually do this, but I have decided to devote this blog entry to promoting a newly published novel (his first foray into the world of published authorness) written by my good friend Matthew McLean (or Matty as I know him). I'd like to tell you a bit about the Matt that I know, and I will post links at the end of this post for those who want to learn more about Matt, this book, or hopefully purchase their own copy.

I'd like to tell you when I first met Matt officially, but the truth is, I can't recall exactly....But I do know that we met as a result of being members of T.O.R.O.S.--Theatre OutReach On Stage, a summer school based theatre program out of North Bay Ontario (I've discussed some of my past experiences with this group in previous blog posts). The first thing I remember about Matt would probably be that he was always smiling, no matter what may have happened over the course of his day before rehearsal started. Matt has to me one of the most loving, kind individuals I have ever met. My time with TOROS was an emotional roller coaster to say the least...I loved it, but I was also consistently frustrated by feelings of being shoved into the background. As a result, my self-confidence took repeated beatings...Were they hiding me in the background because of my wheelchair, or was I just not good enough? At times like that, Matt was right there, building be up....He supported my dreams and believed I had a talent worth sharing...even when I didn't. Sometimes he didn't have to say much...his hugs were enough....I'm not talking about those flimsy kind of hugs....No...Matt would run directly at me, full speed ahead (even on a crowded street occasionally), wrap his arms around me and squeeze...Awesome really...

One of my greatest frustrations every summer came when it was time to block the curtain call, (also known as the final bows, for all you non-thespians out there). I was never permitted to step forward and bow at the front of the stage with everyone else....I had to stay in my "spot and wave. Then in 2005, I was FINALLY allowed to fully participate because I had a "special part" the warranted its own bow. I was ecstatic, sure, but Matt was even happier. If I recall correctly, it was him who started the round of applause that followed that announcement...I think I have a good idea how he felt for me that night.


To see this happen for Matt, is truly amazing. It's hasn't been easy for him, the most worthwhile achievements in life never are...I always knew Matt's incredible talent would take him places...He's a star....

Just hope he doesn't forget about me when he makes it to t he big time....hahaha!

If you're interested in learning more about Matt's new book, there are a few places you can go:

The Invisible War--Facebook Group

To order the book:

The Invisible War--Barnes & Noble

The Invisible War--Amazon.com


***Just a quick note: I recommend ordering through Barnes & Noble as the shipping is a bit cheaper (I believe my total was $23 and change) and it allows you to pay with Paypal.

Amazon gives Canadians a bit of a headache in terms of ordering, but it does have the advantage of presenting a more in depth synopsis***

I for one can't wait for my copy!!!!!!!!

I'm done bragging now, I promise....

Need To Be Needed....

Before I get started with this post, I just wanted to extend a heart-felt thank you to everyone who sent me well wishes while I was away. Reading those messages makes me smile, which is not something I've done a whole lot of in recent months. No surgery, or any kind of substantial change, for that matter, has happened yet...I'm doing the best I can to remain faithful that God is never late and will provide me whatever I need to get through this very physically, emotionally, and spiritually draining time, and I firmly believe that the support of all of you is one of the major things that has held me up. Thank you all....You are all amazing blessings.

While I was away, I spent a lot of time alone, so naturally I had a lot of time to think...As I did, I came to an interesting conclusion...I'm not really needed in any fashion....Please don't think that this is some pathetic attempt at self pity, because it's nothing like that. I know I have friends that love me (some have even treated me as if I were a sister or a daughter) and that they all want me around which I am unbelievably thankful for, but it's not the same as being needed.

I've always been the kind of person to take on extra responsibility just because I like knowing that there are others who are depending on me. Take, for instance, my time at camp...My most memorable moments come from the years where I was stuck somewhere between camper and staff. There was no better feeling than knowing that a certain camper responded better to activities when I was around. When I was working in the classroom as an EA, I ate it up when I could get a difficult student to let down that wall, or when a student would run to me and tell me how much they missed me when I had been gone for a few days.

I know this probably sounds selfish in some respects, but its honestly how I'm feeling right now...Maybe it's because I'm feeling slightly left behind right now given that a most of my closest friends are either married, engaged or headed in that direction. I know, I know, my turn's coming, be happy where you are, blah, blah blah....I get it, and in theory I would tend to agree, but it's not as easily done as said....I mean who is more needed that a mother??

This post is probably sounding a little schizophrenic, but this is what happens to a person when they are ripped away from the people and things that you love the most for. as it turns out, no reason at all...

There really is no place like home......