Free...

For a long time now, I have had quite a bit of bitterness in my heart towards my family...Not because they've done anything wrong to me recently, it has more to do with years of stifled pain that I've never really allowed myself to feel (I refured to admit that they had hurt me) turning into bitterness and anger. I'm not sure how it happened or why, but I feel as though I've been freed from all of that. It's as though God just opened up my hands and all of those feelings of hurt, bitterness and disappointment have fallen away like water through my fingertips...

Having said that, I really feel like I need to stay here this summer rather than go spend the summer with them. I love them, and I want to see them, but for now...I need to be here. I have friends and commitments here that I can't turn my back on. Plus past experience has taught me that every time I go there, I end up reverting back to old behaviors...I can't do that anymore. I feel like I need to stay here until I'm strong enough in my walk with Christ that I won't do that again, no matter what happens.

I know this probably doesn't seem like a big deal to a lot of people, but for me this is huge. For a long time I've felt like something was holding me back from really connecting to God, particularly in my worship time...Maybe that's what it was. I mean how could I give my whole heart to Christ if part of it was taken over by bitterness and anger?

I'm free...

My prayer for you is that if there is something that you need freedom from, that you will receive it, fully, in Jesus' name..